


Your Thoughts Are Mine, Mine, Mine.

by jockjenniferjareau (JRoseW)



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, F/F, oh wowie can i ever write jj as happy? no
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-12 03:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13538865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JRoseW/pseuds/jockjenniferjareau
Summary: Jemily Pacific Rim AU!"The drift… JJ knows exactly how it feels to die. And to how it feels to keep living on alone. It’s been five years since then. Five years and everything has only gotten worse."





	1. Memories

**Author's Note:**

> ok im finally done! since i've been talking abt this forever i thought. well! might as well actually do what I say i'm gonna do for once in my life! titles r hard so im using a line from the eisley song 'always wrong' which is tbh jemily. "you are my soul" come on!

JJ couldn’t sleep.

Not that that was an abnormal occurrence now. JJ knows she probably hasn’t had a good night’s sleep since that night in Anchorage. She shifts, looking around the shitty apartment she dared to call a home. She catches a glimpse of a couple of her roommates; women who were also chasing down work on the Wall. Something perpetually drips from an unknown location, one of the women snores. The threadbare blanket JJ has does nothing to warm her, the cold of the pacific ocean having long since taken ahold of her bones.

JJ twisted uncomfortably on her cot, unable to find a position that was suitable to even just momentarily rest her eyes. She sighed and stared up at the ceiling - at the cracks and the damp spots - and then, as she often did, JJ thought about Rosaline.

_“Ros! Wake up!” JJ said, rattling her sister’s bunk. “Wake up, wake up; there’s a category three!” Rosaline groaned, but hopped down. Throwing a tank top and pulling it over her head, Rosaline blearily looked over at her energetic younger sister._

_“You shouldn’t be happy about this.” She said groggily._

_“I’m not!” JJ said, but her grin betrayed her. “Come on, Ros, let’s go be heroes.” Ros waved her off, searching for her pants. JJ was already ready to go to the shatterdome, her long blonde hair tied into a ponytail and wearing her bomber jacket that proudly displayed the name of the jaeger she and her older sister piloted: Gipsy Danger. There was an alarm going off somewhere, is was what had originally woken JJ up and alerted her to their summons. Ros was a much more heavy sleeper, something that JJ had envied when they were younger but didn’t anymore. Now they were always on call with the threat of Kaiju._

_“Okay. I’m ready.” Ros said, throwing on her matching bomber jacket, “Let’s go save the world.”_

_“That’s the spirit!” JJ replied._

How long had it been since that night? It was coming up on five years. JJ rolled onto her back and groaned. Light was breaking through the small window the apartment had, a sign that JJ had again gone another night without sleep. She rubbed her eyes and let out a groan, but reasoned that being tired was better than the demons that appeared when she dared to dream.

Though maybe ‘demons’ wasn’t the correct term.

_“Rangers.” The curt voice of Marshal Aaron Hotchner greeted the sisters on their com. Hotchner, who had once been a pilot himself during the Mark I days, was what some would say ‘obsessed with his work’. Though health prevented him from continuing to pilot; he made do with overseeing the entire Ranger Program. As long as JJ and Ros had been rangers, Hotchner had been their commanding officer._

_“Sir, would you mind telling us what we’re up against?” Ros said, pressing the com link within Gipsy._

_“Category three, largest we’ve seen yet.” The Marshal replied, “Codename: Knifehead. You are not to engage, just defend the Miracle Mile.” JJ let out a noise of indignation._

_“But Sir, there is a civilian fishing boat!” She said._

_“I repeat; you are NOT to engage. Follow your orders, Rangers.” Hotchner said. The crackle of the com died as the connection was broken, leaving the two sisters to share a look in the privacy of the cockpit. Ros rolled her eyes._

_“Oh save it, Jennifer.” She said, “I already know what you’re gonna say.”_

_“You always do” JJ said._  

JJ shivered, her scars aching beneath her clothes. Well. She was up now, she may as well make her way to the wall early today. JJ tiptoed quietly around her roommates, snatching a protein bar as she made her way to leave. She shrugged on her large coat and tool belt. She glanced over the meek apartment and sighed. How the mighty have fallen.

JJ’s mother always said she had a knack for publicity. She was always the more charming and striking sibling, Rosaline being more humble and reserved. But JJ was a natural, her easygoing attitude and talent for killing kaiju made the press love her. At the peak of her and Rosaline’s fame, JJ felt invincible. Every time she donned her jaeger armor she felt nothing could touch her. And with Rosaline by her side? She could do anything. 

It’s amazing just how wrong she was. Invincible? What a joke. Knifehead had torn her apart, both mentally and physically. She’s lucky she didn’t die piloting solo after Ros died. After JJ _felt_ Ros die. The drift… JJ knows exactly how it feels to die. And to how it feels to keep living on alone. It’s been five years since then. Five years and everything has only gotten worse.

* * *

 JJ’s shared apartment isn’t too far from the construction site, so it only takes her a few minutes to make it there. It’s already busy, teeming with other people desperate for work. It’s still a bit early for work announcements, so the people who are already there waiting huddle around the sole television in the common area that was set permanently on the news.

“Oh shit!” One of them exclaims, with a few more interjecting with a few more choice expletives. JJ pushes past some other people to see what the commotion is about, and is unsurprised to see a kaiju is to blame. The news cast shows a kaiju ripping through the wall near Sydney. The anchor says that it only took the monster an hour to break through and start decimating the city. JJ’s eyebrows raise, but she can’t find herself able to be truly surprised. What peaks her interest though, is the next part of the video. A shiny new jaeger dropping down into the city by helicopter. Clips of the jaeger tearing the kaiju apart appear on the screen as the news anchor talks about how the jaeger program is being effectively shut down.

“I think it’s bullshit is what it is.” Says one of the pilots of Striker Eureka afterwards, “That thing tore through the wall like paper in an hour, **we** tore it apart in thirty minutes.” He’s handsome, but JJ can’t say she recognizes him from her time in the program. Derek Morgan. He’s confident, she’ll give him that. “Sydney’s just lucky Rossi and I were still here, we’re heading out to Hong Kong tomorrow.” Rossi? As in David Rossi? JJ thought he’d retired ages ago.

“What the hell are we even building this thing for!” Someone yells out from somewhere.

“Those things are going to kill all of us!” Says another. The bickering and yelling continues, but no one leaves. How depressing knowing that their efforts were fruitless. Too bad JJ knew that already. But a paychecks a paycheck, and there’s not much a has-been jaeger pilot can get for work. JJ sighs and makes her way out of the crowd that’s started to gather.

It’s just then, as she’s stepping outside of the warehouse for some fresh air; that a helicopter appears. More specifically, a jaeger defense corps helicopter. The wind buffets above her and gets stronger as the helicopter lands about two hundred feet in front of her.

“How dramatic.” JJ mutters.

The cabin doors open, revealing a dark figure. JJ squints, trying to see who it is, but can’t quite make it out. It doesn’t matter though, since they seem to be coming straight towards her. _Wow,_ JJ thinks, _they must be pretty desperate_. As they get closer JJ realizes that it’s a woman, and though sunglasses obscure her face: JJ knows exactly who she is.

“Now do my eyes deceive me or is that the Chief Ambassador for the Marshal?” JJ laughs humorlessly, “You wouldn’t happen to be here to see me now would you?” The other woman doesn’t respond immediately, but she takes off her sunglasses to reveal her steely eyes.

“It’s Deputy Marshal now, actually.” She says, “Emily Prentiss. I don’t think we’ve actually met, have we Miss Jareau?” the Marshal extends a carefully gloved hand. JJ doesn’t take it.

“No, but Hotch used to talk about you.” JJ says, crossing her arms. “What are you doing here?” Prentiss rescinds her hand, but doesn’t seem put off.

“I think you know why Miss Jareau. We’re pretty low on pilots” Prentiss smiles politely. JJ scoffs.

“I’m not coming back.” She says. “Find someone else. I retired five years ago.”

“Not possible. Sorry to say but you’re the only Mark Three pilot left alive.” Prentiss says, “Believe me, you weren’t my first choice.” JJ grits her teeth, but she doesn’t dare speak out of line. To be honest, she understands.

“Even so, I’m not going. I have a job.” It’s a weak defense, they both know it. Even so, JJ doesn’t want to give in.

“In construction?” Prentiss says, “That’s a pathetic excuse. You and I both know this Wall For Humanity is nothing but a distraction.” The Deputy Marshall takes JJ in, trying to imagine the lean blonde piloting a jaeger solo. JJ squirms underneath her gaze.

“Still. It’s better than nothing.” JJ replies, Prentiss shrugs at that.

“True. But tell me honestly,” Emily Prentiss says, her tone penetrating, “Where would you rather make your last stand? Would you rather die here, freezing to death in a fruitless task? Or in the heart of a Jaeger!” JJ cheeks flush, and she turns around to sneak one more glance at the Wall. She thinks about her musty and cold apartment, full of people yet devoid of any life. She glares back at the Marshal.

“I guess you already know that, Chief.” She says.


	2. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ and Emily make it to Hong Kong and JJ becomes familiar with the science department

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so i apologize in advance if garcia/reid/morgan/etc. are ooc. i'm not the most comfortable writing them yet but im trying! also again not much emily in this chap but i promise wayyy more of her soon!

Countless hours later they touch down in Hong Kong.

JJ doesn’t speak to Prentiss, but the ride is anything but silent. Besides the loud noise from the rotor blades; Prentiss makes small talk with with a few of the cadets who elected to accompany her, laughing at some joke one of them tells. She never initiates conversation, JJ notices, she just responds whenever she’s addressed.

It’s clear she’s familiar with cadets; despite the disparity in rank. She never gives away any of her personal information; a mark of her professionalism. The cadets clearly adore her though, that much is clear. JJ can see why, not that she would admit it out loud. Prentiss is thoughtful in all of her responses towards her subordinates, and her laugh is… Nice. JJ mulls this over as the lights in the cabin dim, indicating that everyone else should get some rest in while they can. But she still doesn’t sleep.

It’s raining when they touch down. A cadet named Seaver thrusts a umbrella out before Prentiss can step outside, which the Marshal accepts with a thanks.

“Well, here we are.” Prentiss says, offering a hand out to JJ. JJ takes it, stepping carefully unto the expansive landing space. There’s at least a hundred people milling about, if not more, all in uniform. Some of them are pushing around equipment, others are just running around (To what, JJ has no idea.) It would be a lot to take in for anybody; if it wasn’t already so familiar to the blonde. JJ feels a pang in her stomach. The last time she was at a shatterdome was Anchorage.

“HEY! What are you doing with that? You’re going to damage it if you’re not careful!” A voice startles JJ out of her trance, making her flinch. Prentiss looks amusedly at JJ, then starts walking towards the source.

“Garcia, calm down.” A more calm voice interjects, “That container it’s in is heavily reinforced. It will keep it safe just fine.” As they approach, JJ can see the origin of the conversation. Next to the more generic attendants that are pushing around a kaiju sample are two lab technicians. The first being a very fashionable woman, the other a tall and lanky man in a sweater vest.

“Not if they shake it around like that, Spence!” The woman, Garcia, says. “That’s a bonafide kaiju brain you’ve got there mister! At least a part of it!” She’s got her hands on her hips, but isn't altogether intimidating - at least that’s what JJ thinks. The attendants don’t seem agree with her assessment though, as they immediately apologize and start to push the sample forward more carefully towards a large industrial elevator.

“You really need to stop scaring them.” Spence says tiredly, “Besides that sample’s damaged already. I don’t understand what you’re expecting to get out of it” Garcia pouts, and is just about to go off on another rant when her eyes reach Prentiss and JJ.

“Oh! Em! You’re back!” She says, rushing over to the pair. Her heels clicking against the concrete as she goes to fuss over Prentiss. “Tell Spencer that I’m not scary, those interns are just weak.” Emily chuckles.

“Well I certainly wouldn’t mess with you, Pen.” She says. Garcia huffs, and Spencer just makes a face as if to say ‘See? I told you.’

“Oh, sorry, I’ve forgotten my manners!” Garcia says, addressing JJ. “I’m Doctor Penelope Garcia, and this is-”

“I’m Doctor Spencer Reid.” He finishes for her.

“Great.” Says Prentiss, “This is Jennifer Jareau, she’s was a jaeger pilot during the mark three days.” Spencer studies her intently.

“I know who she is.” Is all he says.

JJ’s not completely surprised, in her and Rosaline’s prime she’d been pretty famous. Especially if you’re someone who studies kaiju you’re bound to know some of the pilots who killed them. Still, it’s not like Reid is in awe of her. In fact he seems almost annoyed. Garcia, however, is giving her a warm smile. JJ smiles back.

“I would say it’s nice to meet you, but the circumstances aren’t the greatest.” JJ says, “I saw that kaiju sample you had those poor guys wheeling around. Doctors... I take it you’re part our science team?”

“Ha! What’s left of it anyway!” Garcia says, “Since the funding ran out so did most of our research team… But Spence and I are still here! Nowhere else to go really.” The last part muttered more as an afterthought. Emily gives a courteous cough, indicating that they all best move inside. The rain continues around them and JJ thinks that it must hardly - if ever - let up.

As a group they all make their way to a huge elevator. The same one JJ noticed the kaiju sample be led to earlier. Prentiss stays close by the door as JJ and the others go towards the back. The elevator becomes crowded as more workers spill in. They’re just about to go up when another person yells to wait for them. It’s the pilot from before… Morgan? He squeezes into the elevator, elbowing his way to JJ, Garcia, and Reid - who Morgan claps on the back.

“Kid, Babygirl! Long time, no see! I hear Emily went to dig some old pilot out of trash?” He says as a way of greeting, Garcia lightly slaps him on the shoulder then gives a pointed look JJ’s way. “Ah. I see. Not so old though. I’m Derek Morgan, by the way.”

“Jennifer Jareau.” JJ replies. "I saw you on the news, impressive work in Sydney." Morgan grins widely at that, though not in a particularly friendly way.

“Yeah well I’m just doing my job.” He says, “Not that you’d know much about that, huh Blondie?” JJ narrows her eyes. It’s bait and she knows it. So she doesn’t respond, just gives him a matching smile in response. How could she explain that she _had_ done her job. That they may be around the same age; but JJ had been in the Jaeger program since she was sixteen years old! Defending the coast! That she was here now, even if it had taken her some time. That he didn’t know what she’d been through.

The elevator buzzes, stopping at an intermediary floor that JJ knows she will not be getting off at. Morgan does though, giving a wave to Garcia and Reid and telling them to find him later. The doors shut as the elevator starts rising once more.

“Sorry about him,” Garcia says, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, “He isn't usually so abrasive.” JJ just hums in response. Her eyes then fixate over the tattoo peaking out of Garcia’s sleeve.

“Is that a kaiju?” She asks.

“Oh! Yeah it is, here let me just-” Garcia says, rolling up her sleeve even further so JJ can get a good look. Reid just sort of rolls his eyes.

“Penelope is sort of a fan.” He says flatly.

“I am not! They’re just fascinating from a biological standpoint. I know you agree with me Spencer. I distinctly remember a certain lanky man ranking kaiju from most to least interesting.” Penelope smirks.

“Hey! That doesn’t count, that was Morgan’s birthday!” Spencer says, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks.

“Is that Yamarashi?” JJ interrupts.

“Yeah. How’d you know? Not many people bother with the names anymore.” Garcia says, now looking down at her own tattoo as well.

“My sister and I took him down in 2017.” JJ says. Garcia pales.

“He was the largest category three even recorded.” Reid says, stopping Garcia before she could start apologizing, “That is until Knifehead in 2020. Though I presume you already know that Ranger Jareau.” JJ shrugs, but gives a slight nod of confirmation as well. Garcia rolls back down her sleeve.

“I know it’s way different, being a ranger and out there in the action…” Garcia says softly, “And this may sound naive but I would love to see a kaiju in person someday. Just to see if I could understand them better. I’m sorry if that sounds irrational.” JJ can’t say she blames Garcia for feeling that way, really. And she’s not offended by it either, she just knows better. Reid stands a bit stiffly and JJ can’t help but think he might know better too. The elevator buzzes, and Prentiss, who had been watching intently from the other side of the box calls out to JJ that it’s their stop. JJ faces Garcia.

“I understand your curiosity, Doctor.” She says, “But believe me. You’d be lucky to never see one of those things up close in your entire lifetime.” Then she turns to go to join Emily, elevator doors closing behind her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If spencer doesn't make the most sense at the end its bc he doesn't to me either. but to explain! basically he's still reid so he's still a nerd. he finds the kaiju interesting in many ways but also would Never want to see one in person (a lot like jj! tho thats her job) which im planning on going more into. as for morgan... he'll warm up p fast to jj (as will reid!) but yall know what a reserved family the bau is when u first meet them! anyway next chapter..... Hotch and Rossi! as well as more jaeger stuff and emily being cute

**Author's Note:**

> anyway idk when you should expect a chapter two, if you even want one lol. i hope you guys like this! im not completely sure i like to formatting of the flashbacks but oh well i dont feel like figuring it out right now! c'est la vie!


End file.
